I've been trying to post a fucking youtube video and its not working. I hate not being able to do something a 6 yr old with down syndrome can do in their sleep.
Things to look forward to:
1. Vacation on the 22nd.
2. Fire Island this weekend?
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
God Speaks
Today in New York was so ridic that it was ridonkulous...this morning while passed out, there apprantly was some biblical storm that flooded the entire subway system.
And that led to the entire city spiraling into chaos- which I honestly love. No other city falls into complete disarray better than New York, and it was particularly fantastic because today is the most humid day thus far this year, with a temperature of 94 and 80 percent humidty. It felt like we were walking around a huge yeasty ripe vagina.
Many i-bankers decided it was better to strip their shirts off rather than sweating through them which gave me a cheap thrill. There's n0thing quite like seeing a buff straight guy who is probably a big self-centered asshole without his shirt.
Fortunately,I was in VERY RARE form and was on my way into the office an hour earl but it took me a full hour and a half to get here- and living in Williamsburg, I was smashed up against hipsters. It was quite the experience as I usually throw icy daggers with my eyes at the scruffy posers.
Lesson from God: Don't even try to get to work early. You just are not meant to be in the office before 9am.
Amen to that.
And that led to the entire city spiraling into chaos- which I honestly love. No other city falls into complete disarray better than New York, and it was particularly fantastic because today is the most humid day thus far this year, with a temperature of 94 and 80 percent humidty. It felt like we were walking around a huge yeasty ripe vagina.
Many i-bankers decided it was better to strip their shirts off rather than sweating through them which gave me a cheap thrill. There's n0thing quite like seeing a buff straight guy who is probably a big self-centered asshole without his shirt.
Fortunately,I was in VERY RARE form and was on my way into the office an hour earl but it took me a full hour and a half to get here- and living in Williamsburg, I was smashed up against hipsters. It was quite the experience as I usually throw icy daggers with my eyes at the scruffy posers.
Lesson from God: Don't even try to get to work early. You just are not meant to be in the office before 9am.
Amen to that.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Happiness is...
being at the beach with your big crazy dog... and having your best friend nearby. I miss mine, he's out at the beach with the dog, and I've never felt so far away from them.
Edicts
me: why am i friends with those people again?
D-Riggedy: oh that's right
me: they're toooooo gay, im in a homophobic mood
D-Riggedy: i forgot
me: i mean they go to circuit parties
ewww!
im pretty sure they went to the pier dance
i can't be friends with people like that
i am going to make a broad delcaration and state that if you attend more than 2 circuit events in a calendar year, then we sadly cannot have any sort of friendship
and there's my edict
im going to post it on my blog and make it official
what other things can i add to my list, purchasing andrew christian or ginch gonch underwear.
wearing camouflage over the age of 21?
believing that doing E on a weekly basis is okay
D-Riggedy: lol
you are killing me
me: well recognize thats its me trying to distance myself from something that is a part of me
but working out incessantly is also part of that
i really should have better things to do
like feeding orphaned black tranny childrens
D-Riggedy: i would pay to see that
me: i of course would do it in a head wrap much like angie
posing for photos as i caress the children
lips full and pouted
D-Riggedy: oh that's right
me: they're toooooo gay, im in a homophobic mood
D-Riggedy: i forgot
me: i mean they go to circuit parties
ewww!
im pretty sure they went to the pier dance
i can't be friends with people like that
i am going to make a broad delcaration and state that if you attend more than 2 circuit events in a calendar year, then we sadly cannot have any sort of friendship
and there's my edict
im going to post it on my blog and make it official
what other things can i add to my list, purchasing andrew christian or ginch gonch underwear.
wearing camouflage over the age of 21?
believing that doing E on a weekly basis is okay
D-Riggedy: lol
you are killing me
me: well recognize thats its me trying to distance myself from something that is a part of me
but working out incessantly is also part of that
i really should have better things to do
like feeding orphaned black tranny childrens
D-Riggedy: i would pay to see that
me: i of course would do it in a head wrap much like angie
posing for photos as i caress the children
lips full and pouted
Good Morning
Life is good, great even, sometimes its hard being perpetually broke and hungry for something unknown, but I'm alive and still able to run wild.
Now if only that was enough for my creditors.
Now if only that was enough for my creditors.
G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S
I'm trying to be a better person, I really am.
I just wish I could stop fixating on the same issues in my life- it seems as if I'm arrested in this stage where I obsessively think about looks and sex which I think is what's expected of me as a gay man.
That compulsive need to be affirmed for how I look is so spiritually vacant and boring that its frustrating to think that I've been trying to get past this for most of my adult life.
I just wish I could stop fixating on the same issues in my life- it seems as if I'm arrested in this stage where I obsessively think about looks and sex which I think is what's expected of me as a gay man.
That compulsive need to be affirmed for how I look is so spiritually vacant and boring that its frustrating to think that I've been trying to get past this for most of my adult life.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Why I love Ann Coulter
So Ann's gotten into a bit of trouble these days by mouthing off and saying the word faggot.
But at least the blonde witch has the guts to say faggot instead of just voting against my rights to marry and using ambiguous language.
The problem with our bi-partisan system is that it creates an atmosphere where politicans have to embrace a wide set of issues- and somewhat agree on the stance decided upon by the party.
It's so black and white- so not in touch with how humanity lives in its various dissentions and needs.
But if we have to play this game, I will say that I hope that Republicans are ashamed of themselves for supporting a lying sack of shit. How many more scandals do we need for the GOP to stop pointing their judgemental fingers at Clinton and his supposed tyranny?
But at least the blonde witch has the guts to say faggot instead of just voting against my rights to marry and using ambiguous language.
The problem with our bi-partisan system is that it creates an atmosphere where politicans have to embrace a wide set of issues- and somewhat agree on the stance decided upon by the party.
It's so black and white- so not in touch with how humanity lives in its various dissentions and needs.
But if we have to play this game, I will say that I hope that Republicans are ashamed of themselves for supporting a lying sack of shit. How many more scandals do we need for the GOP to stop pointing their judgemental fingers at Clinton and his supposed tyranny?
I'm on Fire
Recently, someone criticized me for my juvenille interests. Since I am now a 27 year old man- I guess I'm supposed to wear lots of argyle sweaters, go gallery hopping, and watch indie fimlsat the Angelika theatre. And you know what, I do those things (well except for the argyle- that's played out.)
And in spite of what people think how I should live, I also like to:
-watch America's Next Dancelife in the Laguna Hills
-drink
-make out
-be loud
-nap
-and discuss the merits of favorite shows while drinking and making out loudly which all leads up to napping
I understand the criticism that perhaps I'm not devoting enough of my life to more serious matters like discussing national security and global warming, or that I'm not changing the world by building my own leadership academy for girls. (go Oprah!), but I'm doing things one day at a time.
So fuck off, because as a wise old man with big biceps once said, "I am what I am."
And in spite of what people think how I should live, I also like to:
-watch America's Next Dancelife in the Laguna Hills
-drink
-make out
-be loud
-nap
-and discuss the merits of favorite shows while drinking and making out loudly which all leads up to napping
I understand the criticism that perhaps I'm not devoting enough of my life to more serious matters like discussing national security and global warming, or that I'm not changing the world by building my own leadership academy for girls. (go Oprah!), but I'm doing things one day at a time.
So fuck off, because as a wise old man with big biceps once said, "I am what I am."
Thursday, February 01, 2007
In the Elevator
One of the four elevators in my office building is down, and it's making my life hell.
And for some odd statement from God, I'm always trapped in there for long periods of time with morbidly obese people.
The kind of people who breathe heavily and sweat....because they've walked the 20 feet from their office to the elevator.
Politcal Correctness aside. that's just fucking sick. If you're that fat, then stop fucking eating. Just stop, and let your body feed off your lard.
Because when you're in an elevator, there's an unusually eerie silence. You can hear a pin drop in there.
But not with Kirstie Alley and John Travolta riding. All you hear is heavy labored breathing, and all I can think of is fat folds of sweat.
And for some odd statement from God, I'm always trapped in there for long periods of time with morbidly obese people.
The kind of people who breathe heavily and sweat....because they've walked the 20 feet from their office to the elevator.
Politcal Correctness aside. that's just fucking sick. If you're that fat, then stop fucking eating. Just stop, and let your body feed off your lard.
Because when you're in an elevator, there's an unusually eerie silence. You can hear a pin drop in there.
But not with Kirstie Alley and John Travolta riding. All you hear is heavy labored breathing, and all I can think of is fat folds of sweat.
Monday, January 22, 2007
High School Friends
So I'm almost ten years out of high school- and let me just tell anyone who's 18 now, the next ten years are going to go by faster than you could ever imagine. And you're going to realize how retarded and lame most of your dramas are..that is if you ever grow up. (some people don't, and those people end up dating your friends)
In high school I had a really tight group of friends--- but in retrospect, my friendships were largely formed by an innate desire to belong to a group of friends- so that I could take lots of stupid group photos and have a table to call my own in the quad.
Sure they were sweet enough but what teenager in high school really knows themselves. My friendships were a product of promixity and convenience...and my need to feel accepted at a very insecure time in my life.
That desire to be in a clique sadly never goes away for most people- it's yet one more paradoxical element of man. We all want to be unique and special but in a way that allows us membership with other kindred unique special spirits. To be different and yet to belong.
Anyway, I met up with two of my high school best friends who also live here in New York. It was great seeing them, and upon meeting at the designated coffee shop, we all were so eager to update each other on our lives. We all spoke quickly, bringing up anecdotes and horror stories from our youth.
At when we were done an hour later, we parted ways, promising each other that we'd at least get dinner in the next month.
Relationships change and it's been hard for me to let that wash over me. It saddens me when someone who used to be so close to me starts to drift away, but that's the nature of friendship.
In high school I had a really tight group of friends--- but in retrospect, my friendships were largely formed by an innate desire to belong to a group of friends- so that I could take lots of stupid group photos and have a table to call my own in the quad.
Sure they were sweet enough but what teenager in high school really knows themselves. My friendships were a product of promixity and convenience...and my need to feel accepted at a very insecure time in my life.
That desire to be in a clique sadly never goes away for most people- it's yet one more paradoxical element of man. We all want to be unique and special but in a way that allows us membership with other kindred unique special spirits. To be different and yet to belong.
Anyway, I met up with two of my high school best friends who also live here in New York. It was great seeing them, and upon meeting at the designated coffee shop, we all were so eager to update each other on our lives. We all spoke quickly, bringing up anecdotes and horror stories from our youth.
At when we were done an hour later, we parted ways, promising each other that we'd at least get dinner in the next month.
Relationships change and it's been hard for me to let that wash over me. It saddens me when someone who used to be so close to me starts to drift away, but that's the nature of friendship.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Warm fuzzy me
how the hell are you, people? does anyone even read this anymore?!
well for those who are, my sweet lemmings,
things that made me happy this past week:
1. Watching episodes of The View on DVR. Either you love or hate Rosie O. She's fat, outspoken, and liberal- but at least she can string together a coherent thought, Ms. Hasselsack.
2. Seeing Sampson play in the dog park.
3. News that Britney's dead. Oh that's wishful thinking.
well for those who are, my sweet lemmings,
things that made me happy this past week:
1. Watching episodes of The View on DVR. Either you love or hate Rosie O. She's fat, outspoken, and liberal- but at least she can string together a coherent thought, Ms. Hasselsack.
2. Seeing Sampson play in the dog park.
3. News that Britney's dead. Oh that's wishful thinking.
Monday, November 13, 2006
The Day After
I meant to post this before...just realized I never did...
The day Chao left was incredibly hard. I found myself sobbing at inopportune times.
At work I had to hole myself up in the bathroom stall and let the tears out. When I had finished crying, I splashed cold water on my face and stared at myself- red eyes and puffy.
Some people look gorgeous crying. I'm not one of them.
When I walked back into the slick offices of my current PR office- the Christian Louboutin heels clacking away- one of the impossibly skinny glamourous girls noticed I had been crying- but as this office has an air of cold professionalism.... because of the hunger (for ambition, not carbs), she simply smiled at me and said, "Want some coffee?"
I loved that.
That first weekend was a little hard, but I met up with friends and went to the standard Chelsea gay house party- full of guys in stripped button down shirts (think Ted Baker), beefy bartenders in tight tees, and cocaine being snorted like its 1988.
All in all, I had some fun, but things aren't the same. My partner-in-crime is gone.
The day Chao left was incredibly hard. I found myself sobbing at inopportune times.
At work I had to hole myself up in the bathroom stall and let the tears out. When I had finished crying, I splashed cold water on my face and stared at myself- red eyes and puffy.
Some people look gorgeous crying. I'm not one of them.
When I walked back into the slick offices of my current PR office- the Christian Louboutin heels clacking away- one of the impossibly skinny glamourous girls noticed I had been crying- but as this office has an air of cold professionalism.... because of the hunger (for ambition, not carbs), she simply smiled at me and said, "Want some coffee?"
I loved that.
That first weekend was a little hard, but I met up with friends and went to the standard Chelsea gay house party- full of guys in stripped button down shirts (think Ted Baker), beefy bartenders in tight tees, and cocaine being snorted like its 1988.
All in all, I had some fun, but things aren't the same. My partner-in-crime is gone.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Gotta Keep Moving On
This afternoon, Tim and I meet up with Chao for lunch for the last time. Hes boarding a 4:30 plane this afternoon to move back to Los Angeles.
As usual Chao was running late for our 12:30 lunch date. I called him at 12:15 and woke him- he informed me he had to pick up his last paycheck first. So typical its expected.
At 1:15, Chao finally arrived, calling from his cell, suggesting we eat at Taco Bell instead of our usual Whole Foods locale. I refused. I won't eat there even if his car service was scheduled to stop by 2pm. We agreed to figure it out on the street.
On a hustling Broadway, I spied up the street, Chao and his usual hurried demeanor, cell phone to ear, wire-rimmed glasses framing his porcelain perfect skin, and a way too stylish trenchcoat making its last outing before being retired in sunnier environs.
We got coffee instead of lunch at Max Brenner's, and had one last session of laughter; referencing Laguna Beach, talking about future plans, and giving heart-felt wishes of good luck.
I know people come and go out of our lives. It's the way things work. But sometimes it's really hard.
I've had to say goodbye to friends before. People move, and some have even died. And a part of me selfishly wants to keep all of my loved ones at my side. In the same city to be in each other's lives completely. and not just over e-mails. All of those amazing friends who have continued to inspire and amaze me with their crazy spirit and brillance.
But for now I have to say goodbye to seeing Chao everyday. Seeing him freak out, become sober, and shop way too much. Seeing him with his hard exterior, being a total cunt to the world, and knowing the full extent of his marvelous vulnerability.
A year and a half ago, I left New York to find something. I returned not sure what I found- but now- its Chao's turn to go.
I hope you find what you're looking for. LA's a wonderful city- its a little hard at first but just make sure to enjoy the sunshine and you'll be more than fine. And go hike at Ruyon Canyon for me. Eat In-n-Out after working out and hug Jojo and visit your family more than once a month.
Best of Luck Chao Chao, I'll miss you so much it hurts. Texting and cell phone calls just aren't the same. New York will be here waiting for you in case you ever decide to come back.
As usual Chao was running late for our 12:30 lunch date. I called him at 12:15 and woke him- he informed me he had to pick up his last paycheck first. So typical its expected.
At 1:15, Chao finally arrived, calling from his cell, suggesting we eat at Taco Bell instead of our usual Whole Foods locale. I refused. I won't eat there even if his car service was scheduled to stop by 2pm. We agreed to figure it out on the street.
On a hustling Broadway, I spied up the street, Chao and his usual hurried demeanor, cell phone to ear, wire-rimmed glasses framing his porcelain perfect skin, and a way too stylish trenchcoat making its last outing before being retired in sunnier environs.
We got coffee instead of lunch at Max Brenner's, and had one last session of laughter; referencing Laguna Beach, talking about future plans, and giving heart-felt wishes of good luck.
I know people come and go out of our lives. It's the way things work. But sometimes it's really hard.
I've had to say goodbye to friends before. People move, and some have even died. And a part of me selfishly wants to keep all of my loved ones at my side. In the same city to be in each other's lives completely. and not just over e-mails. All of those amazing friends who have continued to inspire and amaze me with their crazy spirit and brillance.
But for now I have to say goodbye to seeing Chao everyday. Seeing him freak out, become sober, and shop way too much. Seeing him with his hard exterior, being a total cunt to the world, and knowing the full extent of his marvelous vulnerability.
A year and a half ago, I left New York to find something. I returned not sure what I found- but now- its Chao's turn to go.
I hope you find what you're looking for. LA's a wonderful city- its a little hard at first but just make sure to enjoy the sunshine and you'll be more than fine. And go hike at Ruyon Canyon for me. Eat In-n-Out after working out and hug Jojo and visit your family more than once a month.
Best of Luck Chao Chao, I'll miss you so much it hurts. Texting and cell phone calls just aren't the same. New York will be here waiting for you in case you ever decide to come back.
Friday, September 01, 2006
Other VMA Comments
A couple thoughts on last night's VMAs:
1. I must be old because Panic at the Ok Fall Out Chemical whatthefuckever all looked exactly alike to me? I kept asking Chow, "Who is that?! And doesn't that guy looks like a gay Jared Leto?"
2. Who the fuck invited Jack White's new band, the Racconteurs, to play every five minutes! Jack, you're pale and make me want to committ murder homocide.
3. Christina, gurl, you can sing. We all know you can sing, but WHY THE FUCK would you pick some fruity ass ballad that belongs in Pippin 2: Another Faggoty Ass Gay Musical to sing at the VMA's.
4. Pink won Best Female Video for "Stupid Girls" over Shakira's "Hips.." and Christina's "Ain't No Other Man..." What?! Did anyone buy this fucking album?! How much airplay did her shitty song/so-so video even get?! And she's such a dyke! Her new hair-cut scared me gayer.
5. What was Andre 3000 wearing? Ralph Lauren for women?
6. J-Lo and her cancer-patient headwrap? Hmmm... gurl, that thing looked fucked- up and you can't read a teleprompter either. Methinks you lurned to read in the Bronx.
1. I must be old because Panic at the Ok Fall Out Chemical whatthefuckever all looked exactly alike to me? I kept asking Chow, "Who is that?! And doesn't that guy looks like a gay Jared Leto?"
2. Who the fuck invited Jack White's new band, the Racconteurs, to play every five minutes! Jack, you're pale and make me want to committ murder homocide.
3. Christina, gurl, you can sing. We all know you can sing, but WHY THE FUCK would you pick some fruity ass ballad that belongs in Pippin 2: Another Faggoty Ass Gay Musical to sing at the VMA's.
4. Pink won Best Female Video for "Stupid Girls" over Shakira's "Hips.." and Christina's "Ain't No Other Man..." What?! Did anyone buy this fucking album?! How much airplay did her shitty song/so-so video even get?! And she's such a dyke! Her new hair-cut scared me gayer.
5. What was Andre 3000 wearing? Ralph Lauren for women?
6. J-Lo and her cancer-patient headwrap? Hmmm... gurl, that thing looked fucked- up and you can't read a teleprompter either. Methinks you lurned to read in the Bronx.
Fergie - London Bridge VMA's Preshow
One of the best performances from last night's VMAs was Fergie's Pre-Show "London Bridge" Number.
Girl is giving "tranny-hooker" realness with that scary face of hers, but the track is hot. Gwen's Hollerback Girl may sound similar, but Fergie's flavor comes off as legitmately more hip-hop.
One of the best performances from last night's VMAs was Fergie's Pre-Show "London Bridge" Number.
Girl is giving "tranny-hooker" realness with that scary face of hers, but the track is hot. Gwen's Hollerback Girl may sound similar, but Fergie's flavor comes off as legitmately more hip-hop.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Christina Milian Broke. But not Busted.
Christina Milian - Dip it low live on CD:UK
Christina may be broke, but she'll always have a special place in my heart for being the sluttiest pop-tart imaginable.
Here's Christina performing her anthemic call to all sluts to spread them wide, Dip It Low.
And help a poor girl out by buying her shit off of e-bay really cheap.
Christina may be broke, but she'll always have a special place in my heart for being the sluttiest pop-tart imaginable.
Here's Christina performing her anthemic call to all sluts to spread them wide, Dip It Low.
And help a poor girl out by buying her shit off of e-bay really cheap.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Monogamy, Monotony, My God.
A friend in SF, Jesse, recently e-mailed me about a great guy he'd met that doesn't believe in monogamous relationships, much to Jesse's chagrin.
Monogamy, Monotony, my god. I want to believe in monogamy because I'm
a hopeless romantic, but I think I've been jaded into an acceptance of
reality. Partly because of my past behavior; I've never been
monogamous in my life, and partly because I've yet to meet a couple
who I truly believe is truly monogamous. And I don't ONLY run in
circles of rampant sluts.
But do I think I'd want it? Absolutely. The bigger question of whether
I'd be able to commit has only recently affirmed itself. I think that
after a decade of gay dating, I'm finally understanding the value of
monogamy after having gone through three serious, and several minor,
relationships.
For starters, the obvious, it'd be great to be able to have
unprotected anal. The way it was supposed to be with no worries and
suspicions.
But it also be great to not run into a trick while you're out with
your boyfriend, which inevitably will happen even in huge cities in
New York, and definitely in your provincial village of SF. And you'd
find traces of foriegn encounters in their jean pockets and avoided
questions.
And those things can be emotionally akward; for some more, for others less.
And I don't want to subject someone I care about to all that.
That said I can't be monogamous right off the bath. And I don't expect
him to. But it's something that I need to be a part of the courtship
process. Right before the moving-in together. But after HIV testing.
But that's just my beliefs now, and I'm open to the fact that the rules will probably change as I go. Because that's the one constant even in relationships; things will change.
So I've designed a t-shirt for my halloween costume. You can't steal my costume idea if you're in the NYC area.
Like my nickname on the back?
Monogamy, Monotony, my god. I want to believe in monogamy because I'm
a hopeless romantic, but I think I've been jaded into an acceptance of
reality. Partly because of my past behavior; I've never been
monogamous in my life, and partly because I've yet to meet a couple
who I truly believe is truly monogamous. And I don't ONLY run in
circles of rampant sluts.
But do I think I'd want it? Absolutely. The bigger question of whether
I'd be able to commit has only recently affirmed itself. I think that
after a decade of gay dating, I'm finally understanding the value of
monogamy after having gone through three serious, and several minor,
relationships.
For starters, the obvious, it'd be great to be able to have
unprotected anal. The way it was supposed to be with no worries and
suspicions.
But it also be great to not run into a trick while you're out with
your boyfriend, which inevitably will happen even in huge cities in
New York, and definitely in your provincial village of SF. And you'd
find traces of foriegn encounters in their jean pockets and avoided
questions.
And those things can be emotionally akward; for some more, for others less.
And I don't want to subject someone I care about to all that.
That said I can't be monogamous right off the bath. And I don't expect
him to. But it's something that I need to be a part of the courtship
process. Right before the moving-in together. But after HIV testing.
But that's just my beliefs now, and I'm open to the fact that the rules will probably change as I go. Because that's the one constant even in relationships; things will change.
So I've designed a t-shirt for my halloween costume. You can't steal my costume idea if you're in the NYC area.
Like my nickname on the back?
Thursday, August 17, 2006
PS How Creepy are Kiddie Pageants?!
So they finally apprehended a suspect for Jon Benet's murder 10 billion years later, and I kinda feel that I owe her parents an apology. I totally thought you guys did it and eagerly awaited your incarceration. But I think I speak for most people when I say you're still fucking nutjobs.
You guys dressed your five-year old like a cheap tranny hooker. And spoke like Christian fundies on your TV appearances.
Such a bad situation all around.
I don't get pedophiles much like the way I don't understand how people would want to be secretaries. You could try to explain it to me but I'd rather not know.
You guys dressed your five-year old like a cheap tranny hooker. And spoke like Christian fundies on your TV appearances.
Such a bad situation all around.
I don't get pedophiles much like the way I don't understand how people would want to be secretaries. You could try to explain it to me but I'd rather not know.
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