Im a FUCKING New Yorker

So I had the fucking best time in New York. It really elucidated for me how much happiness I derive from simply being in Manhattan. It's weird how a change of address affects the way you feel and perceive the world because I felt that the world was once again a beautiful place... NOT to say I hate LA...rather the opposite. I've made peace with the City of Angels.

LA's reliable with its predictable people, traffic, and weather. It's been great for re-focusing my energies on work and myself since the nightlife and people here are a bore. And I include myself in that, I'M SO lame and boring here that I find myself disguted with myself. I fantasize about getting tattoos or riding a motorcyle to keep some sort of edginess in my life- to keep from slipping into complete sterile lameness. (both of which I think are the two lamest ways to accomplish that- it's basically a declaration of yourself as a guppie poseur.)

But honestly for a 26 year old attractive gay man, I am becoming edgy in that I don't do drugs, am not caught up in having anonymous sex, and don't feel compelled to be part of a scene.

For once in my life, I embrace being alone. I don't need a posse of men who pose as mean girls backing me up in order to live my life. And for me that's sadly a HUGE development.

So Los Angeles has given me some necessary tools to mature into the man who I want to become- it's given me the space, the time, and the job I needed to do that- and it lacks the urban noises & shiny things that I use to distract myself.

That said... I'm coming back to New York in June. I need to be able to walk in the city I live in. I need museums, good DJ's, and ambitious people who aren't retarded entertainment droids.

So anyway New York and Provincetown were sickly amazing. Ptown for two days gave me a shock of salty cold air and humble people who made no mentions of career or name dropping-worthy friends.
I drove up to New York in time for Halloween- my favorite holiday- and met up with my best friends. We laughed like old friends do- loud and unrestrained.

My favorite moments were walking the streets of New York, my eyes wandering over large buildings and passing strangers.

Err...scratch that, they were the ones I spent with my best friends and my ex-boyfriend. I really am one of those annoying New Yorkers who can't live anywhere else for too long- but a big part of that is the fact that my community of loved ones are the same. We're all New Yorkers. It's in our blood and in our vision of our futures. Despite all its hassles, its bad weather and high rents, New York is my home.