Monogamy, Monotony, My God.

A friend in SF, Jesse, recently e-mailed me about a great guy he'd met that doesn't believe in monogamous relationships, much to Jesse's chagrin.

Monogamy, Monotony, my god. I want to believe in monogamy because I'm
a hopeless romantic, but I think I've been jaded into an acceptance of
reality. Partly because of my past behavior; I've never been
monogamous in my life, and partly because I've yet to meet a couple
who I truly believe is truly monogamous. And I don't ONLY run in
circles of rampant sluts.

But do I think I'd want it? Absolutely. The bigger question of whether
I'd be able to commit has only recently affirmed itself. I think that
after a decade of gay dating, I'm finally understanding the value of
monogamy after having gone through three serious, and several minor,
relationships.
For starters, the obvious, it'd be great to be able to have
unprotected anal. The way it was supposed to be with no worries and
suspicions.
But it also be great to not run into a trick while you're out with
your boyfriend, which inevitably will happen even in huge cities in
New York, and definitely in your provincial village of SF. And you'd
find traces of foriegn encounters in their jean pockets and avoided
questions.
And those things can be emotionally akward; for some more, for others less.
And I don't want to subject someone I care about to all that.
That said I can't be monogamous right off the bath. And I don't expect
him to. But it's something that I need to be a part of the courtship
process. Right before the moving-in together. But after HIV testing.

But that's just my beliefs now, and I'm open to the fact that the rules will probably change as I go. Because that's the one constant even in relationships; things will change.

So I've designed a t-shirt for my halloween costume. You can't steal my costume idea if you're in the NYC area.
Like my nickname on the back?