Since I havent worked in the past month and a half, this saucy latina is officially BROKE. Which means my upkeep is no more. No haircuts, no mani's, and no luxe skin products. I now look like a stray mangy cat in low-cut jeans. But I still feel my glamour- that's inside of me, children.... Well, at least that's what I'm telling myself, mothafucka! Don't look at me!!
I look like Chloe Sevigny at brunch at Cafe Orlin after a two day binge!! And if you havent had the pleasure of seeing her cracked-out ass, it's a fucking HORROR SHOW, ladies! She's a god-made ugly girl, but she's able to look somewhat decent with make-up and designer threads, but when that's all stripped away by hard paryting and no sleep- she looks like an absolute beast. A scary nasty beast with huge Jackie-O sunglasses.
Earlier today, I called my Mom to wish her a Happy Mother's day.
Me: Mom, aren't you super excited to have me closer to you in LA?!
Mom: Well, I was earlier, sweetie, but then I remembered how much I hate LA.
Me: What?! YOU were the one who was all about it! You're the one who talked me into it!
Mom: Really? Oh God, what was I thinking? Har, har, har.
I didn't call her a bitch, because she's my momma, but NO FUCKING WONDER I'm the way that I am. Fucking crazy CUNT! No one tell her I wrote that. She'll castrate me and then make me apologize.
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