I got myself a fag hag

Tourists in LA always drive convertibles, and not cute ones like Mini-Cooper convertibles, but they'll have a Sebring. What kind of car is called a Sebring?!
And they're always red-faced from not wearing hats or sunblock.

On Friday, we headed to East West in WeHo.
Upscale, full of power fags, overpriced drinks and a full-on bouncer and line at the front.
As I stepped up to the bar, I laughed, and called Rachel, "Look, I'm not waiting in line for a gay bar in West Hollywood! Manhattan MAYBE, but WeHo...NEVER!"

Fortunately, Michelle got us in quick without too much of a scene, and this loud queen was silenced.

East West used to be Revolver, the video bar that showed Britney Spears clips and Sex and the City episodes. From what I hear, its been around since Pre-AIDS days, so I was sorta sad to see it go.
Now its home to the most upscale bar I've seen anywhere. Theres been talk that the management wants to institute some members only policy- which is laughable because of course faggots will be all over that like me on Collin O'Neal.
But come on, the bar isnt that nice...it's not like its the Soho House. But I feel like gays need to feel like they're members of some exclusive club in order to justify their catty behavior.
The guys there were honestly really hot. Probably the hottest collection of guys I've seen since coming here, but like all LA boys, they were all very manicured.

Michelle held court at our table at East West because she's the biggest fag hag I've ever met.

Now I know I've said I hate fag hags, because for the most part they're a cloying annoyance. And for most men, they're a crutch. Women who can't get a social life of their own so they latch onto the gay scene. And in doing so, become huge cock blockers.

But there's something very charismatic about Michelle.
She's incredibly witty, has a biting comedic edge, and is slightly crazy.
Which in my book, makes you family.
Plus she's elitist in the same ways I am and we've been ripping on people constantly.

She called me about a month ago out of the blue, and I had NO idea who the fuck she was.
Last year, I went into a friend's PR agency to interview for a job. I didn't end up getting the job (most likely because I was fifteen minutes late to the interview....) but I apparantly left a good impression with my friend's personal assistant. Now, I maybe talked to Michelle for 30 seconds...
This is the call I got:

Michelle: Hey honey, its Michelle!

Me: Uh..hey..

Michelle: Hey, long time no talk, but I heard you just moved out here so I thought I'd give you a call. I moved out here about a month ago.

Me: Great...now I dont mean to be rude, but who...are you?

Michelle: It's Michelle from Henry's office. We met last year, silly.

Me: Oh cool.... uhh, (trying to scan my memory for anything)

Michelle: Look doll, I have a harem of hot gay friends here, and if you're smart you'll come hang out and get cocktails ASAP.

Me (thinking): I'm now being telemarketed by fag hags.

And I of course perked up by the mention of "harem of hot gay friends."

I've met them, and they're soooo hot. Which sadly makes me happy. Looks like I have myself a fag hag.