A year anniversary

So Jake the hottie bartender called me a couple days ago from SF to try to schedule a visit at the end of the month...
but being as I'm stressed as I am from work and the recent move, I sorta freaked out on him when he reminded me that he doesn't have a credit card....and that I'd have to front him the cost of the flight..

Time Out: Jake's 30. And doesn't have a checking account. What about that said to me, "BOYFRIEND MATERIAL." It didn't. His abs distracted me. Fuck my DICK! It gets me into soo much trouble.

But lesson learned: If a man doesn't have a checking account, then he don't date him. FUCK HIM and then RUN!

Unless you want to be sugar daddy, but I'm WAY TOO YOUNG AND BROKE to be someone's sugar daddy.

Soo anyway...

Jake: Hey baby, I want to come down and see you.
Me: Oh that's great. When are you thinking of coming down?
Jake: I was thinking this upcoming weekend. (I swear he's so retarded I can hear him drooling on the phone)
Me: Well that's a little last minute but I'll clear up my schedule.
Jake: Could you pay for the ticket upfront with your card and I'll pay you back?
Me: Pay me back with what?! YOU'RE FUCKING BROKE, BITCH!

But I didn't say that.

Me: Fine. But you have to pay me back this time, Joey. I'm broke and I can't be paying for your ticket. Or else I'm giving Steve from Visa your phone number.

The thing is Jake is a good guy. He'll come down and fully "intend" on paying me back.
But he'll come down with $200 and the ticket will have cost $180, and then I'll end up paying for everything else while he's down here. Either he's really smart (which I know isn't the case) or he just assumes that I don't mind paying for things.

But because of his money problems and the fact that I can't hump his hot body over the phone, I've been looking for an excuse to finally kill whateverthefuck you call our relationship.
Because without the sex and the constant pot smoking, all we got are boring phone conversatoins.

I have a deeper relationship with Steve from Visa. (btw, fuck you Steve. Who signs up for a job to call people to remind them of their insolvency?!)

The real issue at hand is that ever since my Ex and I broke up, I've been somewhat unable to really date anyone who would ever become a real partner.

Jake was great, but he was clearly a really really good rebound.
Great Rebounds consist of several factors:
Hot Body: Check.
Hot Sex: Oh fuck yeah. Check.
Easy to date: Check.
Totally into you: Check.
Hot enough to make your ex crazy with jealousy at the thought of all the hot sex you're having, because you've made sure that his friends hear about it somehow and that it will get back to him: Check.

But enough with rebounds. I want to date a man with some substance. I mean I of course want all the great qualities that Jake had, but I want there to be some serious magic. The kind I had with my Ex. And I think that's what makes breaking up really hard; the memory of how magical things were with a person. It's very intangible and hard to define but I guess it's another way of saying chemistry.

It's almost been a year, and I'm starting to come to think that maybe I'll never get over him. And maybe that's fine. But I am looking forward to feeling that chemistry again.

In the meantime, I'll be humping hot rebounds.