Dressing Your Age

Last night my mom called me while I was at the Coffee Bean refueling for the gym. As we chatted, a well-perserved 40-something trophy wife pulled up in her Lexus SUV wearing a tight tank top and True Religion jeans. She was a size 2 on a fat day and had her long blonde locks were pulled up in a pony-tail. Inside she pulled off her Louis Vutton sunglasses and revealed a face that only a plastic surgeon could have concocted. Tight shiny skin. Large bee-stung lips, and an obscenely narrow nose.

Instead of looking hot, she looked like a plastic whore with her bright make-up and heavy cleavage. But I think that pretty much sums up the look of the ladies of LA.
There's absolutely no subletly in fashion here.It is all vulgarity.
The prescription is for the tight items- and that applies to the men as well as the ladies.

An otherwise hot buff daddy at Crunch last night had cut his t-shirt down the middle to mid-sternum, creating a look that reminded me of the J.Lo green dress at the Grammy's. I totally gave him a puzzled look. Why make your t-shirt into a sports bra when you're a man? And a hot one at that?

I'm starting to believe that while the fashion icon of the ladies of the East Coast is still Jackie-O, the fashion icon of LA is Pamela Anderson.

And the men all think they're Ashton Kutcher- even at 40. I saw a salt and peppered man wearing cameouflage shorts at the gym with an abercrombie tank-top. Why is it that the older people get in LA, the more it seems they are more determined to dress like juvenile deliquents.

It makes me think that LA lacks real class. The ladies who lunch in New York are real cunts, but at least they were clothing that while appropiate for their age, is still gorgeous. Think Vivienne Westwood tops with chunky jewelry and Chloe Jeans.

And while men in New York strive for masculine looks; pinstripe suits and vintage t-shirts, deconstructed, and slightly baggy jeans, the men of LA tend to wear skimpy Urban Outfitter type tees with faggy jeans.
If you're a man, try to stick to simple jeans like Premium Levi's. The flashy adornments on the ass are touches of feminity that look ridiculous on most men. That rules out most of the designer jeans. I mean, that's just my opinion, but I think that guys (and especially men over the age of 30) look absolutely retarded in True Religion Jeans, your ass highlighted by oversized buttons on pockets with thick stitching.
Only if you're a fashion icon like Chow can you pull this shit off, because he'll pair it with his Adam Plus Eve thin cashmere sweater and his school boy jacket. Hot look. Down.
I know that with time, my own fashion tastes will be influenced by LA, and I'll end up buying too much Diesel, and looking like a man afraid of showing his age.