Moving on Up

Right before I left Manhattan, I put most of my posessions in a Manhattan Mini-Storage unit. My friend Tim referred me to an affordable and trustworthy moving service called Gar Hing. (That's chinese for strong and fast midgets.)
When I called the service, a screaming Chinese woman answered the phone and gave me a quote of 200. I was made a little nervous by the low price, but I trusted Tim's judgement and booked them for early Monday morning. Well I am now convinced that they are magical Chinese dwarves, because a team of small men came and moved my whole apartment in about 45 minutes. I was there, and I could not begin to tell you how they were able to move huge akward furniture down a third floor walk up in a matter of minutes.

So when my friend starting moving his stuff into my old room, he of course asked me for some help.
I looked at him, thought of my back, and told him flat out, "I didn't hire movers so that I could help you move. I'll be at the gym. Call me."

Moving your friends shit is the worst fucking experience in the world. PERIOD.
And of course every friend in their early 20's asks you to help them move. Or in the case of San Francisco, every hippie artist age 18 to 104.

The bartending hottie's best friend was moving a couple blocks, so I agreed to help out because he needed to return the truck by seven. How retarded is that? I could die.

Like every friend who's ever had you move their shit, he of course wasn't entirely packed. WHY people do that makes no sense to me? If you're having me come over, beyatch, you better have the shit ready to go, because I need to make it to the nail salon before it closes and I don't want to be wasting my time watching you pack. And no one ever likes anyone else packing their shit because you want to know where everything is.

But I figured that since flaky behavior is endemic to the bay area, I should just as well grin and bear it. And I did. I helped out, skipped my gym workout, and missed my manicure.

But here's a tip to the general public; just fucking hire movers. No one wants to move your heavy ugly bed and get repaid with pizza and beer.
I better be getting some major karma for this.